My Favorite Season

                                                           My Favorite Season

So much to plan for within the next week for my Aunt’s fall wedding and then for my much deserved birthday weekend in November. Looking for cute clothes is hard because I’m short (and cute ;))and I’m curvy loosing weight within one week is definitely not going to happen but I’m fine with that I found some cute stuff that won’t be in Old Navy when I go to the store I will most definitely be shopping my but off with the baby sis when I get paid next week. I find it odd that my NYC friends are more excited to see me than my Maryland friends although I haven’t seen any of them in 10 years so it will be a reunion slash birthday party. My crush shall be deployed once more but to Africa and although I will miss texting him and talking to him I can only hope for his safe return. I was hoping that he would be back in NYC by the time my birthday came around but he’ll be gone again not that it really matters because he is of course not my boyfriend. Back to me  I’m excited that I’m actually going to be traveling and actually doing stuff for my birthday for once I just can’t wait to see everyone .

And it's Complicated

And Its Complicated!?!

So I know it’s been awhile but I haven’t really been in the writing mood. I went to see him and things were perfect but as for the status of this sudden weekend rendezvous our status is still questionable. Why did I do this to myself why did I spend all this money on a guy who even after all my efforts still wouldn’t give me the time of day -_- when I got back everything was fine but as time has progressed things have changed no more daily talks on the phone and our texts have become well very limited. Could there be another who has captured his affection probably and I have to say that I of course once more have ended up with the short end of the stick fan freaking tastic ugh it angers me and frustrates me!. I know that I didn’t do anything wrong because I actually can express my feelings and I am not shallow. Maybe I will meet someone one better who isn’t emotionally challenged but it’s been two years I’ve been waiting to meet the right guy forever where the hell is he! I see some terrible women who are with these great guys and I think to myself WTF! Do they see in them does there strong will make them attractive I’m strong willed I just don’t openly express it I take care of myself I pay for my bills, but the guy department is just ridiculous and it seems like the only guys that are attracted to me are little boys who do not have their Sugar.Honey.Iced.Tea together or there just unavailable in some way. But back to the story so I am stuck in this status limbo what are we? When did dating in your 20’s become so difficult? Sigh I just give up =/

He Loves Me, He loves me Not ?!

Two months have gone by since my sudden heartbreak and he is now back in my life once more and yet my heart still only palpitates for him, and in one more week I will be hopping on a plane to another state to go and see him am I hoping for anything to become of this daring adventure no! Although deeply inside the hopeless romantic in me hopes that he’ll realize that I am what he wants in a girlfriend and will ask me to be with him.

Sadly this is not so yes he’s attracted to me but his excuse now that he is available “ I don’t want to date anyone” I told him I know it means that he just doesn’t want to date me and that he’ll probably end up dating some girl eventually and he said that I’ll probably be dating someone else which could be true and I have since the first heartbreak but I just couldn’t feel anything for that guy not to mention he has a few screws loose he then of course wanted to change the subject and we did.

He has confessed that he’s physically attracted to me but when it comes to the “Girlfriend” category it’s never been an option that’s why I titled it He loves me He love me not. Each petal represents this high and low that he gives me although there are rarely any low moments I am happy whenever I speak to him he always knows how to mellow me out maybe someday he’ll get down to that last petal and realize he does have the same feeling for me as I do for him.

Step Closer to Normalcy

Ok so our power will finally be turned back on and we will soon be able to return to our house thank god, now if the boyfriend thing and iPod relacement can happen sometime soon I think I will be utterly happy lol :p

Emphasis on Hopeless

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go"- Anonymous

I looked up quotes of heartbreak today and that is the one quote that I felt matched how I feel the title of my blog for today is called "Emphasis on Hopeless" because I like a lot of other 20 something girls am I hopeless romantic I eat up like a great piece of New York Cheesecake which is rare to find where I live lol, But my question is, is it still out there real Romance? It's something that I as a hopeless romantic long for and have never really had the only time that I did get close to real romance was in the fifth grade and the guy I dated back then is gay now. I look at all these Rom-Com movies and keep asking god hello where's my Noah,Edward, Jacob, Gery, etc. Does anyone else feel this way other than me I know I'm still young but I just keep hoping it will happen hopefully soon .

One Crappy Weekend

It started off ok as any other weekend until I spoke with my mother when she let me know that we no longer had electricity and that we would be staying with my aunt, I then got to speak with my crush whom had just returned from iraq which was a relief for me because I was always worrying about him. Saturday was alright then Sunday came I woke up from a weird dream and had checked my fB of course to my dismay I saw something that completely shocked me my crush's relationship status had changed from single to "in a relationship" but with whom it remains a mystery I still wonder why he did he change his status he wasn't in relationship with anyone the last time I spoke with him I felt so heart broken thinking to myself all those months of speaking to one another trough email, letters, and IM and then it hit me like a ton of bricks may he was just not that into me it hurts of curse to realize that the person who has comforted you through all your prior heart breaks is the one breaking your heart =/, later on that day once I was all cried out my mother had told me that she washed my coat but what she didn't realize that in my coat was my ipod one of my only other ways to vent was to listen to music and now my dear sweet ipod which I of course named Romeo died through drowning all the music that I choose to put in there lost. But one of my friends did say something that is true I can replace my ipod,my crush and have my electricity turned on again and that brought me the comfort I needed.

Me

I figured whomever will be reading this would like some kind of background on who I am, Well I am what my name is a Mixed Chic born in Maryland raised in New York City and currently in living in Maryland. I decided to come up with a blog so that I may have a place to vent and have fun whomever is reading this Hi! How are you ? Good, Bad oh that's to bad I hope everything gets better. Anyways I've always liked to write it has always been a way for me to express my feelings my blog will be a tad inspired by Mrs Carrie Bradshaw of Sex & the City Love Love Love that show. Being a 20 something ain't all its cracked up to be but as my journey go's I hope that you'll enjoy my blogs and maybe we can be friends who knows enjoy :)